ELMO KEEP

You know what I would personally love to read on Pitchfork? Thousands of words about why KISS are awesome and all new music is terrible. That, I can provide. Also, I am a woman. So, I can’t see why they wouldn’t hire me, ignoring the fact I haven’t written a record review since 2008, and that it was of a U2 album, which I fought valiantly to find the good parts of. That, and also this rather long piece I wrote for the Rumpus about why I find record reviews to be a singularly redundant exercise (cognitive dissonance = zero). Though I enjoy reading great record reviews, I read them for the writing, not to get an idea of what I should be listening to. I’m quite capable of engaging my own faculties for that. That’s actually the fun part.

Additionally, they require a list of the top ten records and singles of the year so far. There were ten records released this year? Ten good records? Perhaps I am struggling with this task on account of my self-imposed  “No new music for one year” rule, which I instated last May, a time which was good and long, but sadly not long enough to escape Tame Fucking Impala. Since then the National released an album which I love almost to the point of tears, though I am unsure of how this differentiates me from anyone else they have already writing for them.

I also found Ryan Adams’ metal album most pleasing.

My top ten singles list would include only this.

So to reiterate: I can’t see how I could lose.