Accept also that if you are irked by people on the internet, then you are likely going to be doing some irking of others yourself. Not everyone will like you! This harsh but true fact of life is one you probably should have grasped in highschool, but seeing as this is the internet, no harm in brushing up on that one.

— Something I did up for your parents/boss. 

Everyone I know is full of helpful warnings and advice before I leave Sydney, as though I were setting sail on the voyage of the damned: don’t ever go anywhere alone. Don’t accept drinks from strangers. Don’t get drunk on the deck. In fact, just don’t drink. Definitely don’t do any drugs. Don’t take anyone back to your room. Don’t give out your room number. Don’t catch a cab in the Bahamas unless you want to get stuck on the wrong side of the island. Don’t lose track of time off ship. Don’t look out your porthole, you’ll see the sea pitched at a 45 degree angle. Take anti-nausea medication with you. Tell people you’re married. Do you know any martial arts?

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The weird world of rock and roll themed cruises, the Hairpin.